Congrats GrownMidget! I think that one/ many things the WT does to mess with your brain is say, "Wait on Jehovah" and "Don't get mad" and "Vengence is mine" and "Don't talk about the negative"..... when really, it is natural. It helps us solve problems, we interreact, we find solutions, it helps us work through things, right?
Once we get to freely express ourselves, we do not feel repressed. I am so sorry for what happened to you as a child, being forced to the floor, the crazy things (yes, crazy) that adults did to you! Anyone would say, "What the heck is going on here?" and children do not have the power, or the means to escape all of the time.
I am glad you made it!
Spend time with your wife, making her feel special, it will make you feel better every day!
Hugs, cha ching!